?

Log in

Corazón Latino [entries|friends|calendar]
Liz

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

I swear to God, I suck so bad. [24 Jan 2007|01:20am]
[ mood | uneasy ]

Ok. When someone fucks up each of the following:

Pancakes
Easy Mac (well, ok, technically, i was in a hurry to go out, and just forgot to put the water in)
Grilled cheeze
Eggs

I think an intervention is in store, wouldn't you agree? Someone call Kitchen 911. I need to learn how to cook (or just some common sense) asap.

Although I know that sometimes the griddle gets too hot too quickly, and that can burn pancakes and grilled cheeze too quickly without cooking the insides, but I still can't seem to cook anything right :-(

I am a disastrous! as my friend from Spain would say.

6 comments|post comment

[28 Dec 2006|12:52am]
[ mood | sad ]

You think you know someone, and then something just happens to utterly surprise you. You can't judge someone based on something they said, or did, or even wore. people think they have a good idea of someone based on certain pre-concieved notions, but sometimes it turns out that you were completely wrong. I used to claim that I knew someone based on knowing them for five minutes. I was so wrong. For example:

I once met a girl and thought I knew who she was. She had nice, straight blond hair that wasn't dyed or highlited, clear skin, bright blue eyes, straight, white teeth, wore minimal make-up and dressed in clothes that looked like they came from the Gap and possibly J.Crew. Very simple, conservative, classy and preppy. She looked like she came from some money, and she did, to a cerain extent. She was an engineer, but just by looking at her and talking to her, you would think she came from a nice area, maybe similar to Troy or something. She had moved here from Maryland. I found out soon afterword that not only had her mother committed suicide, but she was the one who found her in the bathroom. The mother, I think, had slit her wrists. It was just so crazy to me. This girl seemed so normal to me, as though she never had a care in the world. She went to college, she had a good job, she just...LOOKED and SEEMED nice and normal. It's just so weird that she had witnessed such a horrible and horrific event, and here she was, living and going on with her life, yet I thought that she was just like you or me.

I also think I know people based on their age. I thought because someone was a bit older than me, that I wouldn't have anything in common with them. I have made a few friends who are between 35 and 40. You can't judge someone or think that they're not "cool" or "hip" based on their age.

Maybe I'm weird, or just super judgemental. I think it's the latter. I need to stop acting like that, and I think I'm finally starting to understand. Studying abroad as well, as cliché as it sounds, also taught me that lesson: you think you know someone, but you really don't. I'm not referring to "Oh, I thought the french were going to be snobby, and they weren't". I'm talking about the americans I studied abroad with. We had people from all different majors, with all different styles and cultural and class backrounds, yet we all came together to form lifelong friendships. They were cemented in a matter of days, yet friends I've had here for years I don't have that same connection with. It's insane. Lots of americans like to think what they want about asians: "they're all smart and studious" (WRONG); polish or swedish: "they're hot and blond" (Also wrong); french : "Snobby and rude" (wrong). Maybe you all think I'm an idiot, and that no one thinks like this anymore. But there are some real morons out there.

Also, I know people think they know me based on a few meetings with me and maybe by the way I act and dress. I know it. I don't blame them, though. I hope people will learn what I've learned. No matter what you think, you don't know who someone is based on their age, race, class, dress, university, family, neighborhood, car, shoes, music, or religion. You just don't.

1 comment|post comment

What do I have to do to get you to come over? [10 Dec 2006|04:55pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I have Wii, weed, and a sexual favor waiting for you!!! What more do you want from me???

1 comment|post comment

convo between 2 consumerism crack babies and a quick update [19 Mar 2006|06:06pm]
"Liz, guess what....? I met a porn star. And the porn star's husband did coke right in the middle of the room!! Can you believe it? Oh, and yeah, the porn star was fat...yeah, she had gained weight, I guess. And liz, guess what else...? I met a parapalegic in a wheelchair, and I shook his hand. Isn't that bad that I wanted to shake his hand? He was an albino; he had red and blue eyes. Oh, and I'm working at Hustler..you know, that one store where that one girl from the Real World bought her boyfriend a whip?....Yeah, frankie. I tried to explain it to Alexis, but she didn't know what I was talking about.....What number should I call you on? did you get my message? I was afraid that it was the wrong number and I was all marbly-garbly on your voicemail and whoever got the message would think that I was a crackhead..."

Can one really survive seeing their best friend only once a year?

10 hours is way too much.

Anyway...I have a job for the summer...It pays $13.75, but it doesn't really matter because I'm in debt up to my ears anyway. But I'm officially employed. I'm also going to las vegas in July with lorve and my uncle that I don't like. But I'll be 21, so it should hopefully be fun.

My family is coming to visit in 2 weeks. I cant wait to see them. We're going to Nice and Paris together. I'll be in Nice for 5 days....2 with my family, but then, when they leave, I'm staying there and my group is meeting me there because we have an excursion that same weekend. Then me and 3 of my friends are going to Corsica for spring break. Corsica is part of france but they speak french with a mad italian accent. I can't wait.

Did everyone have a good st. patrick's day? I did.
4 comments|post comment

ça vaut pas le cou...... [22 Jan 2006|05:22pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

So, I already broke a new year's resolution, possibly my biggest one. I had a few that I've been trying to work on (have better posture, not say like as much), but the biggest one of all was to not let boys make me crazy. Alas, it's only the end of january and I have already failed.

I've decided to be done with boys. I thought I had them all figured out, I really did. But now I've realized that they're far too frustrating and I can't waste my time on them anymore.

Why did I decide to put boys on hold? Although europeans (and mexicans) are easier to deal with than Americans boys, last semester there were still quite a few who made me insane. Always wondering when they were going to call, analyzing every single move and glance and thing that they said (and didn't say).....being mad at myself for giving in one too many times....wondering again and again, why guys initiate something, then lose interest right away...then, the boys with whom I don't even care if anything happens, or with whom nothing should happen or is going to happen, I still find myself going crazy and constantly thinking about them and getting frustrated and mad and sad and it's just not worth it...

I'm just so sick and tired of letting boys rule my life. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but it's partly true. All my friends know me as the boy-crazy one, but really, I only am in Europe. In america, I pretty much don't care about guys. (They're sort of like how drugs and drinking are for me now: take 'em or leave 'em.....) So I used to really care, but not until I came to europe. It's too bad that no matter what continent they come from, no matter what age they are, boys are still frustrating and confusing. But overall, I've still had better luck with the ones who speak spanish, it seems. I think I'm going to move to spain after I graduate.....the south of spain...maybe granada....it's an idea. I need to get my spanish back, because it's horribly disappeared. But I still have plenty to take at State when I come back, so I guess I'm not too worried.

So, bottom line....I'm going to do my best to not be disturbed and bothered by boys, but I'm not making any promises....I've tried swearing off boys a thousand times before, and it's never worked. So I guess there's nothing I can do.

post comment

I'm surrounded by idiots. [28 Dec 2005|10:36pm]
Me: (Looking at the newest cd from Train in the music aisle)
Random lady: Oh, is that Train? They're good; I like them.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Random lady: (Regards cd, gives a disappointed look) Is that live?
Me: Yeah.
Random lady: Oh, I don't like live cds. It just doesn't sound as good.
Me: Well, I've seen them a couple times. They're really good. (pauses) In fact, I think they sound better live. It shows off their talent more.
Random lady: (squinches up her face in disdain) Nah....I think I'll just stick with this here Gwen Stefani cd.


Meh. Her loss.
2 comments|post comment

porque nunca sabes lo que tienes, hasta que lo tienes.... [19 Nov 2005|12:54pm]
[ mood | done with class!! ]

I just got back from Barcelona for 5 days. It was super cool, although they like their mullets and mohawks and piercings a bit too much. On the whole, though, spanish guys are beautiful....love. We danced a lot of salsa and drank sangria and did backwards shots and ate yummy spanish tortilla and paella and went shopping and saw so much gaudi stuff it was crazy. Gaudi is this amazing architect who doesn't believe in straight lines and he loves color...very..organic, I think. I really wanted to go to the Picasso museaum, but there wasn't enough time for that.
I went with my friend antoine, the parisian, and we stayed with his best friend, Marie-Lise, who is half costa-rican and half french, so she's perfectly bilingual. I wanted to practice my spanish, and I did, although every sign and the tv stations and the newspaper are written in catalan!! oh, well. I did get to practice my spanish and have spanish employees grab me by the arm because europeans (especially spaniards) have no sense of personal space. hehe. I love it. but yeah, good weekend. Barcelona is a kick-ass city.

We're going to strasbourg next weekend...there's a famous christmas market we're going to see. But it's my last excursion with the americans. Tear. I'll be sad to see everyone go. But I'm excited about coming home (Dec 19).....I think I need a break from europe.....

post comment

Tu me manques. [18 Oct 2005|04:00pm]
[ mood | triste ]

Take off your shoes... Take off yourself
Take off your rented mental health
Take off your raincoat... settle down
Take off your nightmare and your frown
There is a place for you to go
To see another ringer in a rock show
Take my pretense for a time
Cause I want to say to you

I'm nobody without you...buddy
My long lost friend

If you're not here to hear me scream
Am I silent like a dream
Where all the dragons are my friends
Each night we meet our bitter ends
Do I need you to make me real
Like Wheeler spinning his own wheel
Quantum strings within my brain
Popping sanities insane

I'm nobody without you...buddy
My long lost friend

Not everybody has a brain
Not everybody's going sane
Not everybody wishes well
Not everybody's heaven's hell
Sometimes there's someone to blame
Sometimes a place for shame
Sometimes good's better than bad
Sometimes good's better than bad
Sometimes good's better than bad
Sometimes you're better than me

Heaven fell on herself tonight
As the devil met me in the wishing well
And in that moment I found myself knowing
That in the end it's just about you and me
Nothing smaller or larger
Though dragons are good for the soul
Nothing can be better than baring yourself for another...
Open for scrutiny, ridicule, and indulgence
Therein lies the balls, and the mind, and the heart...
As fear is truly the Mindkiller...
When nothing is left...
Everything is gained...
You see I wish I was a poet
But I know as we go round and round
Though endings are never ever happy
It's the happy moments along the way
That in the end
Make it...ok...

1 comment|post comment

Salut tout le monde!!!!! [16 Sep 2005|05:27pm]
hey guys, a quick update:

France is great. My family is goofy and the dad makes sure I understand everything that comes out of his mouth, even if it means he has to talk to me like an imbecile. They call one of the daughters machete because she talks so fast. I'm like, 'That's me in English! haha' the other daughter is 14 and doesn't shave her legs. I wonder why, but I don't think I should ask her.

There are 9 other kids in my group, and 5 new ones will be arriving this weekend. They're from all over the us, and everyone is cool and nice. this girl kendra and i clicked right away. we get along, even though she's a morman. haha.

i made a friend from ecuador, and our group befriended 2 swedish people and an irish guy. I freaking love foreigners....and french guys. especially the ones named jean-françois who have their tongues pierced and look like they're italian : )

Im taking flamenco dancing next semester. Can't wait. I'm also supposedly going to go skiing with my family...yeah, don't know how that's going to work. I'm prepared to learn, though, or die trying.

I also got to see a french wedding in Lyon and went mountain climbing one weekend. I was proud of myself because my legs didn't hurt the next day...but my back had some issues. It was breathtaking, though. I really felt 'at one' with nature, as lame as that sounds. hehe. Also possibly going to see the white stripes and the hives and the strokes and some others. We shall see how expensive it's going to be, though.

ok, hope everyone's doing well, i miss everyone at home but i am loving it here so much...It's an entirely different world out here, but so incredibly.....amazing. and no culture shock this time : )
1 comment|post comment

Change of plans. [28 Aug 2005|10:13am]
"You should've called me."
"Dad, you're not the person I call when I need to talk to someone."
"Well, maybe you should try."
post comment

i know what I was feelin'....but what was I thinkin'? [23 Aug 2005|02:11pm]
[ mood | a bit frazzled ]

"Don't let any frenchmen violate you....and....tell them, that if they touch you there, they have to marry you!!!"--my aunt trina, yelling this across the parking lot as I was dropping her off at the train station today.


Needless to say, I was a little bit mortified.

but I felt an eerie sense of déjà vu because it reminded me of
that scene in that lame, lame movie Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, where topher grace (so hot) yells out to kate bosworth "Guard your carnal treasure!"

good thing I can laugh about it now.

post comment

Dear player, [18 Aug 2005|10:54pm]
[ mood | bothered ]

The other night, I admit, it was a pleasantly dreadful surprise to hear from you, resulting in my heart beating a little faster than usual and then having to remind myself that it's just you, not a visit to the dentist's office.....I have to remind myself to have fun when I'm around you, but it's hard because I'm usually so scared. I want to let you know that I still see right through you; that's why some things happened differently this time. We get along fabulously well, so of course I see nothing wrong with just wanting to hang out. I guess if you were a true player, you wouldn't talk to me at all. Then again....I don't know if I consider you a player....just a commitment-phobe. But I digress...

I thought you were going to like the change in my attitude this time. I wasn't sure if you would notice it, but you did, and today I got the impression that you didn't like the way I acted. I'm sorry to say that I've learned a lot in the past 2 years, and I act a lot differently around guys than I used to, unfortunately for you. Furthermore, I wasn't aware that there was a 'process' to all this. I find that amusing. Maybe you could enlighten me, because, in my opinion, there is no 'process'. There isn't any one certain person who calls the shots; there are no rules; and if you don't like it, too bad. that's not my problem. After all....YOU called ME.. and last time I checked, I don't owe you anything. and I know that you're disappointed, but not all girls are needy and emotional and need to be held and cuddled, the purpose of this being to assuage any fears or emotional insecurities they may have, I guess. I don't quite understand the need for it unless you actually care about the other person.

So please, mr. player, stop questioning my motives and leave me alone, and stop being so fake. I don't know why you don't understand that one time is more than enough for me this summer.

4 comments|post comment

I miss my old men. sniff. tear. [16 Aug 2005|11:00pm]
[ mood | hot ]

I was watching When Harry met Sally the other day (one of my favorite movies. I love dialogue-driven movies) and harry made a comment about how a woman he dated reminded him of someone else because she went to Michigan State. Or something like that; I can't remember what was exactly said. But i had commented, "Is michigan state really that famous? I mean, to be alluded to in a movie?" and my mom gave me this incredulous stare and this little smile and was like, "Um, yeah!" maybe I'm just stupid. I mean, I'm aware that it's a big 10 school, but I always viewed u of m as being more famous. I guess state is pretty famous, too. hmm. interesting.

Today i rented dirty dancing: havana nights and kill bill, so I could finish the rest of it from the last time haley and I rented it together. Both were fabulous. kill bill was a bit gruesome, but it's quentin, so what do you expect? But i love watching it for the cinematography.

Sooo, julia and I decided that we're going to become european. to do this, we are going to do the following:

-start smoking
-only drive manual cars
-take the screens out of our windows and doors
-eat lots of cheeze and white bread
-drink lots of wine
-get a piercing somewhere
-get rid of our air conditioning
-get rid of our clothes dryers and iron everything
-dye our hair a funky color
-take 20 minutes to do the simplest tasks
-drive crazy
-get rid of our carpeting in our houses
-only listen to techno and house music and weird american shit i've never heard of
-not use ice cubes anymore
(some of the above are jokes, by the way ;)

Or, if we can't become european, we're going to LIVE in Europe, except that we'll have screens on our windows and doors, have carpeting, electric clothes dryers, and refuse to walk 15-20 minutes to recycle something and buy milk.

I can't wait to go to france so I can have a new viewpoint of europe. All I have so far is how rural farm country in spain is like. I'm dying to be able to see a different side of things so I can stop finishing my sentences about europe with, "...but that's how it is in rural farm country...I have no idea how the rest of spain/europe is like". However--there are a lot of generalities you can make, based on talking to other europeans that I've known.

Why is everyone obsessed with jennifer garner and that damn 13 going on 30 movie? don't get me wrong, it was cute. but i cannot stand jennifer garner. she's too muscular and her jaw is just--out there, and she has too big of lips and these little rabbit teeth. I have hated those weird lips ever since she was on Felicity (she played hannah, for those of you who used to watch that fabulous show). However--she's a great actress; she's got great energy and she's very versatile. But it doesn't mean that I like to look at her. I mainly tried to focus on her hottie co-star, mark ruffalo, during the movie. yummy. now HE'S nice to look at.

tomorrow, going out to dinner with the girls, and then camping later on this week along with my ghetto family reunion, during which i will be my mother's personal slave...as if I'm not already. sigh.

post comment

I'm his little whiskey (and coke) girl. [12 Aug 2005|05:30pm]
Soooo now, apparently, I'm unemployed. No, I did not get fired....Laid off, I guess you could call it....but not really. Before I left for spain, they were letting a bunch of the temps at my job go, but they said that I could still work when I came back. Just kidding! Even though they want me to come back next summer and they said that I was a fabulous worker and that I was always on time, they won't let me work another measley 2 weeks before I leave for France. The bastards. I give them 3 and a half months of my life, and this is what I get back in return? ;-) haha.
It's actually really nice, though. I now can bum around and watch Conan and read and do pretty much whatever I want and SLEEP IN. YES. so excited to be able to do that.
1 comment|post comment

"TMJ....that stands for...Toxic Mouth Jaw!" [09 Aug 2005|03:23pm]
[ mood | jet-lagged ]

I'm back from spain, with mixed emotions.

I love so many things about spain...yet hate so many at the same time...I'll spare you the complaints, but if you're a close friend, you'll probably hear some :-)

a few highlites:
-riding on motos
-the colorful fashion
-the scenery
-a vineyard we went to
-wine with lunch every day (altho i didn't drink any, since i don't like wine, it's just nice to know it was there)
-beer and kahlua on ice with dinner
-bodegas
-mercados
-a midieval festival
-seeing David Bisbal in concert
-holding a 3 day old baby sheep
-being able to have pseudo brothers and fight with them all the time
-boys...need i say more :-)

my ears are still plugged from the flight, tho, puta madre.

but yeah....amazing, amazing trip, although i do appreciate the u.s so much more, as well as troy now. i take so much for granted as an american, it's crasee. it puts things in perspective, let me tell you.


among other things...starting August 28th, here will be my new address for the year, except dec. 18-jan. 18, when i'll be home for xmas:

Elizabeth Macpherson
c/o Famille de Montclos
7 avenue des Mûriers
38240 - Meylan
France (duh)


We're flying into paris and then staying for a few days there and seeng the eiffel tower and the champs elysees and other things, then I start my stay with the family in Grenoble, which is in the southeast, by the alps.


ok, i think i'm going to go to bed now, in my own bed, with screens in my room to keep out the flies, and with air conditioning! amazing the things i missed while in Espana.

tomorrow i get the day off and then i get to bo back to work wednesday!
i actually miss work. a little.
that's scary, no?
haha.

ps. i really want to see collateral, with tom cruise. gray hair on him is too sexy. think richard gere...well, don't, because i don't like richard gere. but the same idea...that gray hair can be hot.

6 comments|post comment

besa me....besa me muuuucho. [18 Jul 2005|12:43am]
[ mood | drunk ]

So I haven't been posting much. I don't really know why I haven't been. Well, I do know why, actually. Number 1, my computer is being a major pile. It's just not working and it always kicks me off and it's just retarted. Then....there hasn't been a whole lot of drama or anything extremely new or interesting in my life, besides the obvious events that everyone already knows about. So yeah...that's why I haven't been posting as much.

Last night I went and saw Pedro and his friend do an acoustic show at Now & Zen, this little coffee shop off of M-59 and hayes. They were pretty good, although I sensed that Pedro has some issues with rhythm. Overall, though, he's pretty good at the guitar, and his friend/bandmate had a good voice. I saw Anthony there, too, which was nice. I was proud of myself because originally dee and jules were going to come with me, but then they had other shit to do, so I just went by myself. I was a little wary of going there, but it worked out. I felt independent...but then I saw anthony and went and talked to him. haha. I can only be a loner for so long. Then I went home.

Today was the beach boys concert. Again, was supposed to have some friends come along, but none of them could make it. Sucks to be them, because they missed a damn good concert. I ended up going with my little sister and her friend. Yes, I am a nerd. I realize I don't have a lot of friends, and while that bothers me sometimes, other times it doesn't, because I know the friends I do have are great. It's all about quality, not quantity. however--when your few friends are all busy, it's nice to have options. A lot of my other friends live far away, too, though, so....yeah, anyway, they put on a good concert. I was sort of irked that it was in the middle of the afternoon this time instead of in the evening, like last year. But it all worked out. We had great lawn seats, and they played all my favorites from Pet sounds, their best album by far (duh). Anyone who's seen Almost Famous knows what I mean (when she pulls the album from under the bed....yeah. go see the movie if you don't remember). This one part they did a five part harmony a cappella....Amazing. I forget how much I miss singing sometimes. Damn. I gotta hit up a karaoke bar or something.

Tonite the parents went to a tigers game. That was pleasant. Then michelle and I went to see her puerto rican side of the family and her uncle sang me a song in spanish. he was drunk and very amusing. Then we went and hung out with some young troy highers...well, mainly graduates, but it was surprisingly fun. Again--2 friends who were supposed to call us, didn't! What's up with my loser friends lately? honestly. lol. They need to get on the ball.


A week until Spain!!!!!!!! oh man. craseee. I'm about to go to bed, I believe. good night.

1 comment|post comment

[07 Jul 2005|11:14am]
[ mood | pensive ]

The most interesting thing about the whole telling your good friend that you like them as more than a friend thing is being able to see it from both perspectives.

I realize that it can be weird, uncomfortable, a little scary, and flattering all at the same time, depending on when in your friendship you say it, how good of friends you are, and how much you do (or don't) say. However--I do believe that the situation is only as weird as you make it out to be.

It's scary to think that someone feels as strongly as they do about you, especially when they barely even know you. No matter what I do, I know that I can't shake how he feels about me, as much as I want to. It makes me realize that you can't control who you fall in love (or like) with, or when. Also, you can't make yourself love someone. Timing is everything when it comes to love, and more often than not, it tends to be off.

What's also interesting to me is how differently I act around different people. I have amazing chemistry with certain people, but it doesn't always mean that I'm attracted to them; it's just great friendship chemistry. Likewise, I've been attracted to certain people's personalities but have not been physically attracted to them. It all depends. Certain people tend to fall for me based on who I am around them. If they saw me interacting with another person, they may not feel the same way. The chemistry 2 people have is usually unique. It just makes me wonder: how do you know whether or not you like someone as just a friend, or maybe more? You can seem so sure of yourself at times.....but then, 6 months later, say to yourself, what the hell was I thinking? I wonder how people 'know' when they want to marry someone. I ask my parents that and they seem perplexed by my question. A lot of it has to do with having in common several different values and qualities. But then....what about that whole attraction thing? And then you have to figure in chemistry....People probably wonder why I'm so obsessed with the 'chemistry' thing. Maybe other people are, too, but they just don't talk about it.

I see certain couples, married or not, and I wonder what made them choose each other. did one pursue the other, by serenading with blaring music out of an old school boombox, à la Say Anything? did they get set up on a blind date, like dave navarro and carmen elektra? Or....was it just convenience and lack of options? My friend is dating someone right now, and she really likes him, but she questions how strong her feelings really are, because he's the only guy she's gotten to know this summer. It's not like there are tons of guys she has to choose from. That's why, in theory, the Bachelor can be a good idea. I don't believe in 'the one'; I believe that there is more than one person out there who is compatible for you, especially when it comes to marriage, because we all know it takes a lot more than love to sustain a marriage.

[But--at the same time, the more you date, and the more you know yourself, the more you know what you want in another person, and what you don't want...so you may not need a lot of options. I think this is how I am.]

My other friend constantly questions if she 'loves' her boyfriend. He is quite possibly perfect for her: he puts up with her, but at the same time, doesn't let her get away with everything, and they have a really good relationship. Sometimes, though, I tell her that she takes him for granted...she's always wondering if there's someone 'better' out there for her. I'm like, how much better do you want him to be? If you don't want him, I'll take him! (not really at all, but you know what I mean). It's just that...I know for a fact that there is someone else out there that could be compatible with her, and with him. But they just happened to get together at the right time.

Sooo where am I going with this? good question. I'm already aware that I've 'used' too many 'quotation marks'...sorry. haha. If I keep using them, they're going to lose their effectiveness. Anyway....

To come back to the whole platonic vs. romantic relationships....It's put a lot of things into perspective. For once, I can see how girls scare guys away with their feelings...and I'm sure guys do that, too. I can see how people can come on too strongly, and sometimes don't know how to take a hint. And, sadly...very sadly...I've realized that I can tell when people like me as more than a friend....and when they don't. I know now not to push anything, as much as I'd like to. But you can't. It just doesn't work that way.

post comment

[04 Jul 2005|01:22am]
I was thinking about karl the other day, and how I'm sort of sad that we're not friends anymore. I mean, I guess it's for the best; I don't need people like him in my life, but still...it's always sad when someone who was a part of your life isn't anymore.

And now I look back on all those entries I wrote about him. I can't even believe how I ever thought I cared about him that much. I thought we would be friends forever; I thought I was in love with the guy. I must've been soo demented.

But still--it's just so weird that we used to have so much in common, and then it slowly started to become a chore to find things to talk about with him. I realized that we talked about trivial things and he was such a vapid person....it makes me wonder about other people I'm friends with. I mean, I liked him right away, before I got a chance to really know him. I need to stop basing so much on first impressions. I'm getting better and better, but still am learning things from being friends with him. He could really hurt me sometimes.....I wonder if he was aware of it. Probably not.

I was thinking like this for awhile, then the whole erin thing happened to set me over the edge. A bunch of little things that he was doing were starting to get to me, but he was such a good friend at the time that I learned to look past them. I think I liked him way early on, before I got to know the real him, part of which was shallow infatuation, I'll admit. My first impression pretty much held true, though, now that I think about it.


Maybe he'll change someday.
He probably won't, though.
Oh well.
post comment

Hey, girl.....where was you wednesday? I was destroyed..... [30 Jun 2005|09:16pm]
We just came back from JD's. I have an exam tomorrow (the final) and I work from 7-3. Ohhhh joy. But it was the last time I got to see Thomas before he left, and paul was there, too, altho I'll probably see him again before the end of the summer. that boy....both of them are too crazy when they're together. I didn't believe some girl asked him to model for abercrombie until she showed me the card. He IS cute--too bad he's a major tool. haha. i love him anyway.

Some of my friends, who shall remain nameless, got pulled over for drunk driving on the way back from canada on friday. The friend who was driving had to drive 6 hours by herself to the jail, where her parents had to come and bail her out. I felt really badly for her, but at the same time, I'm not too good of friends with her anymore because she's a bitch, and thinks she can get away with everything. Maybe this is proof that she can't. but hello--drunk driving is not cool. Sorry. Yeah, I know we've all done it one time or another, but ....i dunno. It's just that she always preaches about the downfalls of drunk driving. We all know it's bad, but whatever--I'm not going to judge you. It happens. end of story.

there were plenty of popped up polo shirt wearing boys with faux hawks and wristbands and also guys wearing light pink and blue and green. I loooove pastels on a guy. But yeah--although the popped up polo and wristband look is a little too trendy for my tastes, I gotta say--i don't hate it. If you can pull it off, go for it.


Ahhhh I need to go to bed and thank gosh tomorrow is my LAST FUCKING SPANISH CLASS OF THE SUMMER. Phew.

Next summer is looking mighty fine, but only if I don't return to troy.
post comment

just a little bit of youuuuu...... [28 Jun 2005|05:56pm]
I've had enough mediocre birthdays to know that if your birthday falls on a day during the summer, you can expect less than great things to happen. I think that now as we're getting older, the whole birthday thing isn't that big of a deal. I mean, for me, it never has been. (My birthday always randomly falls on vacation days or on days when people can't make it due to whatever reason.) At least, I keep trying to tell myself this, but the rest of society is trying to convince me otherwise. People make it seem as though your birthday should be the single most important day of the year. You should be showered with attention and gifts and cards and phone calls, and expected to be given all this acclaim all because of something you had nothing to do with and can't control. I mean, believe me, I'd love to say that all the above happened, but it didn't. Half of the time, I can't even remember what I've done for past birthdays. Then, when I do remember, an unpleasant birthday memory tends to crop up: someone forgetting, or someone feeling too tired to see me (2 different people, 2 years in a row), or someone having to work, or someone being out of town, or someone leaving early because of another commitment. I mean, I know sometimes things are out of my hands: obviously you can't help it if you have to go out of town....but when people asked me what I did for my birthday this year, I felt sort of lame telling them what I did; well, more like what I didn't do. I could only count one good friend who was there to celebrate it with me. Maybe that should tell me something. I don't expect everyone to drop everything and rush to be with me on my birthday, but uh....it's kind of a fixed date: the same one every year. maybe I'm just being selfish and trite....yeah, a big part of me is acting selfish and trite. haha. I dunno. I don't consider myself a selfish person, but on my birthday, I think everyone is entitled to be a little selfish. I just wish I could've had more friends with me. That's all. And a lot of it was just bad timing, but I still missed my friends yesterday. I don't know why this year it got to me so much...maybe I'm remembering all of my past shitty birthdays and now they're all starting to add up...who knows. I'm young, and I have plenty more birthdays left to celebrate.
But...the people at work got me a card, which I was so happy to get...I've barely known these people a month, and they get me a card. It was very thoughtful.

Saturday I went out to dinner with my family to bahama breeze and little hermana made 2 cakes. I was thoroughly impressed.

5 for fighting is coming to the taste fest this weekend, along with cake, but I won't be able to see cake because I have class. Jet is playing on saturday, too; they would be good to see live, I'll bet. Man. I wish I had more friends sometimes.

This thursday is my last spanish class...thank gosh. I love that class, the people in it, I mean, but I will be so glad when it's over. It just takes up so much of my time.

I just found out my parents are going out of town for the weekend of the 23rd of july til...the 26th. Meaning that I'll be all alone that whole weekend until Sunday when I leave for spain. ooooh, such a long time. not. My mom goes, "I don't want a single soul inside this house while we're gone!" Damn. You have one party and your good name gets tainted for life. I have this feeling they're going to call the neighbors and tell them to watch for suspicious looking cars. My parents are usually completely trusting of me, but lately I think they're on to me. haha. Probably not, but I'll have to take precautionary measures just in case I want to have a friend or two over when they're gone. Just in case.

I'm tired of all of my girls choosing boys over their girlfriends.

I can't wait to get the fuck out of dodge. Spain and then france can't come fast enough.

I want me some more of David Drake.
1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]